


a wretched hive of scum and villainy

by blackkat



Series: Skywalker prompts [2]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Anakin makes the worst villain, Crack, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25081489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: “It’s not that I like him, I just like having a decent rival for once,” Anakin protests, throwing himself down on the edge of the building at her feet. He doesn’t even protest when she promptly drops them in his lap, either, because he’s a good friend. And besides, her boots are clean. Aayla always manages to stay clean during their plots. Anakin, who ended up face-down in a mud pit last time, is mildly resentful of this ability, but not enough to make a thing of it. Padmé has the same skill. It’s a little unnerving.
Relationships: Aayla Secura & Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker/Tae Diath, Padmé Amidala/Aayla Secura
Series: Skywalker prompts [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1941652
Comments: 10
Kudos: 258





	a wretched hive of scum and villainy

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt on my Tumblr

“Maybe I should send him gloves,” Anakin says moodily.

Without even looking up from painting her nails, Aayla says, “Don’t send him gloves, Anakin.”

“But he’s out there in just a _coat_ ,” Anakin protests. “Coruscant is _cold_ , Aayla!”

“And you're supposed to be cold-hearted,” Aayla mutters, and because she’s his childhood friend Anakin doesn’t turn her into goo with his mind. Well. Partially because she’s his childhood friend; the other part of it is because Aayla would probably brush it off and turn _him_ into goo. And then so would Quinlan. Quinlan's never forgiven Anakin for forcing Aayla to become his henchman.

Which is, Anakin would like to point out, _vastly_ overstating things. Aayla took one look at his apartment right after university and decided he needed a keeper, and moved herself in. she just…hasn’t left, even when Anakin made the switch from shoebox apartment near the docks to a secret lair under the financial district.

“It’s not that I _like_ him, I just like having a decent rival for once,” Anakin protests, throwing himself down on the edge of the building at her feet. He doesn’t even protest when she promptly drops them in his lap, either, because he’s a good friend. And besides, her boots are clean. Aayla always manages to stay clean during their plots. Anakin, who ended up face-down in a mud pit last time, is mildly resentful of this ability, but not enough to make a thing of it. Padmé has the same skill. It’s a little unnerving.

“Obi-Wan is a decent rival,” Aayla points out, holding her nails up to the weak winter sun and assessing them.

“Obi-Wan _lectures_ me,” Anakin complains. “Like he’s my _dad_. Tae is just— _nice_.”

Aayla maybe rolls her eyes a bit. “You don’t need to make it sound like a death sentence.”

Anakin scoffs. “I'm a _villain_ , of course I think it’s terrible,” he says, and then, “I can't believe _Padmé_ is his anchor. She’s so—so _angry_! Tae shouldn’t have an angry anchor.”

This time Aayla _definitely_ rolls her eyes. “Padmé’s only angry at _you_ ,” she counters, “because you accused her of cheating on you with _Obi-Wan_ and then tried to strangle her. While she was _pregnant_.”

Anakin winces. That was probably his lowest moment. And if Aayla hadn’t been there in the aftermath, yelling at him but not _leaving_ , he’s not sure _what_ he would have done.

“ _Still_ ,” he says huffily. “Padmé as Tae’s anchor? That’s not even a good match! Padmé is just—ugh.”

“Maybe they’re sleeping together,” Aayla says, in the specific tone that means Anakin has ticked her off, even if he has no idea how. Even if he did, though, it doesn’t give her any right to say _that_ , and Anakin hisses in deep, wounded offense and shoves her boots off his lap.

“Just for that,” he says, “ _you_ get to distract Padmé when they show up.”

Aayla laughs at him. “I was always going to face Padmé,” she retorts, and tucks her nail polish away into her purse. “Padmé scares you.”

Anakin will never, ever admit that’s true. And thankfully, he doesn’t have to. On the street below, a familiar, dark-haired pair of figures come into view, and Tae calls, “Anakin!”

“It’s Darth Vader,” Anakin calls back, scowling. Tae’s gotten a haircut, the dark strands pulled back in a short tail. It’s nice. Makes his cheekbones stand out even more, and he never had problems in that department anyway. “And if you don’t have my money, I'm going to blow up the First Bank of Coruscant—”

“Anakin,” Tae says, annoyed. “I'm a _telepath_ , I can see where the charges are planted—”

“Enough of this,” Padmé says, and she’s _definitely_ annoyed. Raising an arm, she fires a grapple, and Anakin has to fling himself to the side, practically falling off the building, as it hits right where something extremely sensitive and valuable was a moment ago.

“ _Padmé_!” he squawks.

Padmé makes it to the top of the building before he can recover himself, hauling herself up onto the top with a limber twist. She’s wearing white, with that stupid cape-scarf thing. Anakin hates it. She doesn’t even have _powers_.

“Her power is spite,” Tae says dryly, and he’s a moment slower, stepping off the fire escape as Aayla steps right in front of Padmé, blocking her path forward. “Anakin, stop this. Your heart’s not in it.”

“That’s what you think.” Anakin eyes him. He’s not wearing gloves again. That’s _stupid_. Anakin is going to rob this kriffing back and _buy_ him gloves.

“Thinking about gloves isn't going to distract me, Anakin. Give this up already,” Tae orders, taking a step.

Anakin smirks at him, even as Padmé launches herself forward, and Aayla intercepts her, and they go rolling across the rooftop in a tangle of limbs. “Come on, Tae,” he says cockily. “You don’t _really_ want to fight me.”

Tae’s mouth thins. “No,” he says, and there's a tired edge to it, lines in his face that make Anakin pause. “I really don’t, Anakin. Give this up. Just—be good again. This isn't you.”

“It’s _Darth Vader_ ,” Anakin says, but he’s frowning, looking Tae over. He looks tired. Exhausted, even. Maybe they should do this another day. There are plenty of banks Anakin can rob, after all. “And it’s your lucky day, Tae. I actually have somewhere I need to be. Aayla! Let’s go!”

With a snarl, Aayla hisses, “I'm _busy_ , Anakin!”

At the same moment, Padmé growls, “Go to hell, Ani!”

There's a pause as they trade glances, still straining against each other with Aayla pinned on her back and Padmé sitting on her stomach. A familiar, speculative expression crosses Padmé’s face, and Anakin's blood runs cold.

“ _Padmé_ ,” Tae says, blanching. Whatever Padmé is thinking right now, Anakin _really_ doesn’t want to know. Tae’s power is truly a terrible one.

“Tae, go away,” Padmé says, and a moment later there's a whirl of blue lekku and brown hair and Padmé is suddenly on her back, Aayla on top of her. Their eyes hold, and—

Time to go, Anakin decides. It’s probably a better excuse than having left the over on, which is what he was going to go with.

“This isn't over, Tae!” he warns, but the impact is possibly slightly spoiled by the way he’s already halfway over the edge of the building, ready to leap down.

“It is until I find my brain bleach,” Tae mutters, and takes off in the other direction.

Anakin will have to kidnap him some time, he reflects with a flare of regret as he watches him go. They never get to talk for long. Or he could call Tae and gloat about something. He’s probably done something gloat-worthy in the last few weeks. Or—

“ _Go_ , Anakin!” Aayla says loudly, and then leans down.

Anakin wants to believe she headbutts Padmé. That’s not even _close_ to the truth.

He goes, already trying to plan the kidnapping. He should serve dinner. No, hold a restaurant hostage. _That_ will get Tae’s attention.

And he’s definitely going to get him those gloves.


End file.
